I turn 28 tomorrow. And I have grey hair already. And not just one! Haha...heh, life is truly short. Some may say it's too short. And I would tend to agree with them.

I've been noticing more and more lately that death is everywhere. It happens every day at any time. It doesn't matter if you're rich or poor, perfectly healthy or terminally ill, famous or forgotten. Death is real and unavoidable....and that still scares me, despite what I already know.

As a Christ follower I know that I will be with God when I die. The Bible says, “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting? The sting of death is sin..." (1 Corinthians 15:55-56 (NIV)) When Jesus died on the cross for our sins he conquered sin and the grave (death). So, why am I still scared of death? Is it because I still have sin in my life?

I know that when I became a Christ follower Jesus forgave all my sins. But that doesn't mean I'm no longer capable of sinning. I'm still human; flawed and weak. I don't want to sin anymore but it still happens. I do repent. But I know later I'll "fall short" again later. I want to be completely devoted to God. And I know God is helping me become more devoted to Him each day. But when I think about a life that's completely devoted to God and what mine looks like today, they aren't even close.

Perhaps that's why God is pointing out to me that life is short. Perhaps that's why He's been showing me how much He loves me lately. Perhaps that's why I've realized so much of what we live for is really meaningless! It doesn't matter what tomorrow will look like. I know God wants me to live for Him today. We don't know which day will be our last. So, rather than thinking about what a Godly life "would look like" or "should look like", I should just BE a fully devoted follower of Christ, now.


Ecclesiastes 9:4-10 (NIV)
"4 Anyone who is among the living has hope—even a live dog is better off than a dead lion!
5 For the living know that they will die, but the dead know nothing; they have no further reward, and even the memory of them is forgotten.
6 Their love, their hate and their jealousy have long since vanished; never again will they have a part in anything that happens under the sun. 7 Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for it is now that God favors what you do.8 Always be clothed in white, and always anoint your head with oil.9 Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun— all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun.
10 Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the grave, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom."

I keep hearing the same message over and over lately. I don't know if everyone else hears their own personal message or if it is a universal one. But I know the message is from God. And He is speaking to all of us. I'm starting to recognize his voice again. The message I'm hearing is about Love. God Loves us so much! And we show God's Love by the way we love others. God is showing me how to love by showing me His love. It's amazing!


Have you ever noticed how "God" and "Love" are interchangable?
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (Use "God" where it says "Love")

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.5 It is not rude, it is not self‑seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails...

Going to the JC club today with a few other ByGrace ppls. We're going to serve meals to kids there.

It's been awhile since I've done anything volunteer-ish. Switch and LifeKids don't really count. They are part of my routine now. Volunteering, to me, is more of a sacrificial act. It requires going out of your way, giving up something important to you (e.g., my free time).

When I hear about all the stuff going on in the world today, compared to the stuff from the past, it immediately reminds me that we are definately living in the "end times" (for a lack of a better way to describe it). It makes me wonder, "What am I living for?", "Life is so short. So, why am I waiting so much time?", "If faith, hope, and love are so important to me then why am I not acting like they are that important to me?". "I should be showing people the love God shows me. It's the greatest gift, worth giving up everything for. Why do I hold on to all that other meaningless stuff?"

I need to step it up and live the way I know God wants me to. No one knows the day or the hour that Jesus will return. It could be any time now. We're suposed to be ready in season and out of season. Doesn't that mean we should live as if every day could be our last? If we really filtered out all meaningless, waste-of-time crap from our lives, our everyday lifestyles would be drastically different.

If that were to happen, we would consider other's above ourselves like the bible says. And considering today's global climate (politically/socially speaking, not global warming) I feel this sense of urgency to change the way I'm behaving. There are people crying out to God for relief from their suffering all over the globe. And God is the God who answers prayers and listens to His people. One day He IS going to answer those prayers, by returning to earth and wiping away their tears forever! I have a feeling God wants to respond to the cries of His children sooner than later...perhaps within my own lifetime.

I haven't updated this page in ages! Wow!...I miss blogging.

What can I say, life's been crazy. Still settling into the new APT. Got most of my furniture, still need a couple things. Definately need more stuff on the walls. I can only handle so much white.

Played in a poker league this fall. Finished 3rd overall. Will recieve $230 soon. Plyed a dozen or so tourneys. Got 1st in 3 of them and 2nd in 2. I've been playing more confidently. And I'm comfortable in my game. Can't control the strings of bad cards though. You gotta win some pots if you wanna bluff confidently. Can't win with all bad hands. Sometimes it just doesn't work out. But if you play better with you good hands than your opponent does with theirs, then you can beat them.

Doing alot of voluntering at church. It always feels so manditory. It's not enjoyable if I do it out of obligation. I wish I wanted to do it. But at times I don't. It's better than being alone all the time though. The one thing I really enjoy is LifeGroup on Mondays. That I want to do. I look forward to it.

Got an appointment at HVCC after Thanksgiving. Going to figure out what courses I want to take. It's about time I got back to school and moved up in my job. God's got a plan and purpose for my career. I am pursuing school in order to accomplish God's plan for my life. I want to take engineering into the broken partsof the world and help rebuild it. Restore some hope. God doesn't want anyone to go without water or food or shelter. I have the chance to be used by God to provide just that.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Let's see...the apartment hunt is still going. Spina and I found a place we both like. And so we have applied and given our deposit already. But I don't have any credit history. So, it's doubtful we will be accepted. But I've given extra information to help them make the best decision. It sucks that b/c I chose to avoid the temptation of credit card debt by not getting one that I am now dealing with not being accepted for the things I need b/c of it. I thought I was making a smart choice. Oh well. I'll be looking to establish credit now. If only for that reason. I hope we get accepted. Maybe God will work something out on our behalf. I hope he does. (That's from my keyboard to your ears, God!)

Next I'm looking into college. HVCC is an option again. Aparently they have another 2yr program I can take that will help me more. The 1st one I got won't transfer to most school. And it's one of the only colleges locally that I can attend without moving again. Moving is the last thing on my mind. I've done enough of that for awhile. I hope. If HVCC doesn't pan out I may have to move. SUNY Buffalo has courses I can take and it's under 15k per year. That's very affordable. Better than RPI, 50k per year. If money were no object though I'd pick RPI over most colleges.

...zzz.....zz..(yawn)...(stretch)...

Ok, I'm up! I've been hybernating for awhile, I know. But I'm not dead! I'm sure that's news to your ears. Anyway, there hasn't been too much going on lately. I'm just trying to grow up, I guess.

Let's see! I am thinking about a new apartment. Something closer to work. That, and the place I live at now isn't a place I'd like to invite friends to. It's a bit run down and dusty. The only reason I took it was b/c the rent was cheap and at the time I moved in I needed a cheap place, right away. I've been thinking about "living simply" and "living cheaply". I've come to this conclusion, "Cheap isn't always simple!" I'm finding it difficult to function well at my current apt.. It's small, I can't fit the things I need in it. I use my roommate's kitchen appliances and utensils. But only sometimes b/c alot the stuff is old, grease stained, or rusted. But if I bought more stuff it would become crowded. I also want a place where I can invite people over and socialize. And it would be nice if it were conveniently located between work and family/friends.

I want to move on in my search for a career. I know I want to be a Civil Engineer, which I'm not yet. But people keep saying I am one. I need to go back to school for that to happen. RPI is the only university locally that teaches Civil Engineering. It would cost $160,000 to go for 4 years though. I've been trying to meet with someone from the school about transfering, but he always seems to be away from the office at the scheduled time for our meeting. I have over a year to prepare to go there. I want to make some progress before I talk myself out of it or wait until the last minute.

I talked to a nutritionist on Monday. I plan on living a healthier lifestyle. My Grandfather died from Gloucoma, which was caused by his diabetes. My Mother has diabetes, but it is controllable through proper diet and excercise. Since diabetes runs in the family and I genuinely want to live better, I find it important for me to work on living healthier. So, I'm starting now!

There's alot more to talk about, but this is good for now. I want to have something to blog about later.

I just can't seem to find time to blog. Or I just have nothin' to blog about. Either way, maybe I spend too much time playing Disc Golf. I wish my excuse was I was spending too much time with my girlfriend. Except, I don't have one.

Wow! It's been a month since I've posted. Time flies, I guess.

Nothin' much goin on here. Just trying to get myself organized. I'm looking into going to RPI. I'm going to a info meeting on Tues. at their Alumni Bldg. I've been trying to clean up my place, my car, myself. Spring's here and it's time to wake up and get goin'! I've been pretty lazy. It's getting old. I want to improve on some things.

My surgery went excellent! I'm going to be in this neck brace for about 4 weeks. That's not bad, considering the type of surgery I had. I don't have much pain. Mostly from swollowing, b/c of the tubes down my throat. I'm pretty mobile too. I have to limit my activity though. I can't lift over 5 lbs. My arm feels better too. It's still weak, but I can raise it highter than before. So, thanks for all your thoughts and prayers.